Did I really hear that?

I'm one of those people who literally believe Jeremiah 33:3... that I can ask God things, and He'll tell me! And when the things that He tells me seem to be 'right', or actually happen, I take comfort in knowing I heard His voice. However, when I truly believe I've heard something from Him, and it doesn't happen, or something else happens to make it even appear that I was totally mistaken, I begin to have doubts that I really even heard from Him. Especially, when over a period of time, and from multiple trusted sources, the 'word' seems to have been 'confirmed'. I start to wonder... did I really hear that? Am I making all of this up? What's that about? I was so sure I heard from God, but... huh?

So, I got to digging through my Bible, looking for examples of when the same thing happened to some Biblical giant! I found many examples of faith being tested... of people hearing a word from God, and having to wait for it, believe in it, inspite of what they saw. But that still didn't fit what I was dealing with... I, too, waited, and believed, and trusted that my faith would become sight. Their faith did become sight, mine didn't, and yet I was so sure that I heard Him. I continued to ask God to show me. And I came to Samuel.

Samuel's name means 'heard of God'. And it's made clear that Samuel did hear from God. Time and again, the words he heard from God proved true. So, I believe when God told Samuel to annoint Saul as Israel's first king, He meant it. Looking back, we can see that Saul wasn't going to be all that he could've been, and that he would fall short of the plan. So, I wondered if Samuel ever thought... did I really hear that? Scripture doesn't seem to indicate that he had doubts, but only that he felt sad. When God later told Samuel that He was rejecting/replacing Saul because he chose to disobey Him, Samuel was so grieved that he cried out to the Lord all night long (1Sam 15:11). Then God told Samuel to annoint David, and he simply obeyed.

So, even tho' the initial 'word' to Samuel looks errant because of the way Saul turned out, it wasn't. Because Saul had free will, just like we all do, he chose to follow his own path, not God's. The initial plan was spoken to Samuel, by God, but God wouldn't override Saul's free will. He instead rerouted His plan through another man who did seek to follow Him whole-heartedly. God adapted the plan because He is sovereign. In the book of Esther, Mordecai kind of told Esther the same thing when she wasn't sold on going to the king with her agenda... Mordecai said, 'if not you, then God will use someone else, but you'll miss the boat'.

So, I reason that, tho' what I believe He said to me didn't happen, I believe I still heard God. He knew the outcome, because it involved free will and things beyond my control, and yet it still had to 'play out'. God didn't mislead me, He led me, knowing I would act and react to certain things out of obedience to what I believed He said. I know that Samuel annointing Saul was not a mistake. Samuel obeyed God based upon what he knew God told him to do; certain things had to play out. David had to learn some things, to come to certain places at certain times; to make some friends, and ...to grow into the job of king. And Saul was not just a place-keeper... he had the chance to choose wisely, and missed the mark, but his life still had an important impact.

So, I trust that, metaphorically, God is grooming David to replace Saul. I can live with that.